Thursday, March 31, 2005
Hi, today I'm gonna let you guys see my
"MOST POWERFUL WORDS" that I ever know of in my 27 years on this planet called Earth..... here it goes..... guess this is the last time that I'll blog in a while~(Hopefully not) So much things had happened in the past few days.... and currently I'm under tumultuous pressure to "Be A Saint"~
I don't like this kind of stress lor....... stress suppose to encourage work, ignites motivation, procreates determination, expands competiviveness, and everything else you can think of.... but come to think of it, there's also the ugly side of stress..... stress kills soul slaughters braincells, deflates egos, taints immaculate
health records, murders minds and everything negative you can come up with.... just hope that I can take it all in my stride....... :(
I'm close to giving it all up with the numerous problem that I'm facing now..... but not to the extent of breaking down and of course, how can I break down, rite? NO! I WON'T!!! There's no pillar of support when I need one.... No, make that, there are no pillars of support.... you guys may ask, where are my sweetie & all my friends? Ya.... don't worry..... they all are still alive and kicking.... but I just don't want to bother them. Everyone got their own commitment and I feel that, sometimes I should learn how to be more independent.... and not relied on them too much.(I also don't know why I said all this when I know, all of them will be beside me when I need them~ OMG, please pardon me for my lameness, okay?)
Alrite..... that's all for now. Maybe my mind's are just running wild, and I sound so edgy today. Pardon me for these are just inccessant rantings..... still waiting for sweetie call coz she PROMISED that, she will call back but it's already so late.... I think she had already totally forgotten about me and fall asleep liao..... sighs.... hopefully tomorrow will be a "Sunny Day"...... been missing her alot~ NitezzzZ....
~People Know Me.... But Not Many Understand Me....~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:12 AM
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Sighs....... I had already changed my foul temper for a few years. I had learn not to
"snap" easily, unless provoke. Nowadays I will just keep quiet if I'm unhappy about something. And I never liked to quarrel....
I 've Never! But it seems like whenever we're good.....something comes along to destroy the peace.... there were periods of attempting to make everything all okay again... of not wanting to let the "Short but Memorable" past go to waste.... There were sweet moments, serenity....... when things felt just like before. But then the rots sets in.... and I will never understood why.....
Waves after waves, problems kept coming down hard on me..... is heaven playing
tricks on me? I don't know..... really hope god can give me an answer~
~Love Is Like A Bunch Of Loose Threads That Don't Really Tie.... And Just When You've Figured That Out..... You Die~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">1:53 AM
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Actually not going to online, coz nothing much to blog today. Went jogging this
evening and feeling very tired. In fact, I had already fall asleep after dinner. But don't know
why also... suddendly woke up. Seriously, I think im suffering from insomnia liao... (Anyone
know of any cure beside sleeping pills?) So here I am typing away like a zombie.
So bored... Sweetie very sick and are sleeping like a pig now. Went to clinic just
now.... and the doctor said, she's suffering from stomach infection and running a high fever. Poor
girl... my heart ache to see her in this state. But hor, sometimes I really can't stand her. Already
so feeling sick liao, still don't want to eat medicine. Had a hard time cajole her just now. Almost
spill out blood just now.(I know you don't like it and it will makes you feel drowsy but it's for
your own good mah.) and some more she want to go and work tomorrow!!! Siao!!! I'm gonna tie
her on the bed if she really go to work lor!!!
Okay okay.... that's all for now. If not, she's going to keep nagging me if she see what time I blog~ NitezzzZ.... everyone!
.........................................................................................................................................................................
To Somebody:
It doesn't matter if you don't want to treat us as your brothers.
For your info, we don't want lecture you.(And we did not) We're just concern about you. If it's
other people, we won't even care a damn about them! But really, I almost fell off my chair
when I heard the reason why you got sack.... it's such a LAME EXCUSE! Fancy you to have the
cheek to said, "I didn't blame anyone.... just myself. Who ask me to sleep early, said le right?
My body system got something wrong inside.... even my mum never lecture me so much when
I lost the job....etc" Come on.... you're old enough liao. The choice is your's to choose which path
you want to go. Sighs.... I also don't want to said so much lah, or else someone will "pek chek"
again. Hope you find a job soon. Good Luck!!!
~Love Doesn't Just Mean Becoming Someone Else "Perfect Person"..... It's About Finding Someone Who Helps You To Become The Best Person You Can Be~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:29 AM
Monday, March 28, 2005
Just woke up..... early in the morning received a call from Anqi, she's calling from
Texas to chat again but hehehee.... I told her to call me back again later in the day, because I'm
still sleeping away. Sorry hor~ Poor girl... think she's very bored ba. No relatives and not much friends over there.... everyday can only work, work, work. No life at all~ Promise her that I will
go over to find her soon.(If only I got money lah) ;p But don't know when is it lah~ For the time
being, Qiqi you endure for awhile lor, bo bian~ Hahahahaa.....
I had so much drinks at Grace birthday last night. Burp~ But hor, heng ar.....
today never kanna hangover leh.*Touch Wood*(Sweetie even vomitted when she going reached
her house downstair last night, hahahaa..... ;p) We went to a pub called Party Doll along club
street, it's also the same pub where I just recently celebrated my birthday. It's actually quite a
nice place, very spacious, not so smoky unlike other pubs and most importantly the price are
also quite affordable.(Waitress are also very PRETTY & FRIENDLY!!!) Hahahaaa..... we had a
great time there! We played some "funny
games", the loser have to drink up a glass filled up of martell and mixed with red wine!!! Hahahaa.... and all of us gang up and cheated "Ah Gal"....
poor him, in the end, kanna until he "knock out" lying on the sofa like a dead corpse for the rest
of the night while we're still playing away!!!! Hahahaa... and we also took some pictures of him
lying dead on the sofa(Hopefully can upload some pictures and let you guys see soon) Almost laughed me to death. Sweetie brought an ice cream cake from Swensen for Grace.(Nabei, how
come my birthday don't have cake huh?!) ;p But we used it to sabotage her. Even her husband, Alex also on stand our side!!! Haahahaa.....
Sweetie never work today, and I actually planning to go over to her house today....
but "something" crop up... sianz~ So I think I will just stay at home and rest today lah. Some
more going for jogging later. Sianz... don't know why I kept thinking today is sunday huh???
What is happening to me.....??? Why am I always dreaming for the past few days? Will sombody wake me up? Sighs.....
~I Wish I Could Believe In All I Do.... To Regain All I Lose.... To Close The Haunting Chapter Not With Grief But With A Smiles~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:19 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Sighs..... actually feeling very happy this morning when Anqi called from Texas and
we chatted for quite awhile.... but my happiness are shortlive when she and sweetie was
agruing with each other through my tagboard.(which you guys won't see coz I "covered" it
with those smiley inside my tagboard) because sweetie not very happy when she realised that I
still haven sleep when she's already going for work!!! Wah.... it's no joke kanna stuck in between
these two girls when they're agruing with each other lor.... had a hard time cooling both of them
down... anyway, it's over~ (You Know I Love You Girls And I don't wish to see both of you to quarrel again, k?) Peace!!!!!
Just now had drinking session with my brothers at our usual hangout again. Actually
going to K-Box to finish up our balance after that, but in the end I never go coz wanna go home
early and keep sweetie company. All my friends said that I'm not like this before.... and I had
changed lor... coz drinking used to be my GREATEST LOVE!!! Hmm.... I myself also don't know
why leh~ Maybe It's the "Power Of Love" ba~ Hahahaa.... so mushy~ Even I can't stand myself
sometimes and let alone Alex! Nabei.... really cannot tahan him and his mouth really can't spare
people one lor.... he said that... his "HAIR"(Mind you, it's his "COCK HAIR" that he is refering
to, OK???!!!) will STRAIGHTEN whenever he hear me and sweetie are talking to each other!!
Hahaha... almost laughed me to death when I heard him said that!!!
Will be meeting sweetie later coz today is Grace birthday.... although we still don't
know where will we be going to celebrate later. But I promise that, it will be hell of a time!!! Hahhaaha... Beware Grace!!! I will let you have an unforgetable birthday!!! Hehehee..... ;p
~Love Always Begin With A Kiss.... Grow With A Smile.... And End With A Tear~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:18 AM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Ho Ho Ho! So full now.... just reached home from a sumptous japanese buffet dinner
and everyone ate till wanna feels like vomitting(Grace hor?) ;p expect for Baoli. Hahaha... can't
stand that girl, kept eating mostly fruits instead of other dishs.... walau... if wanna have fruits,
just go market buy can liao mah~Really defeat the purpose to have buffet lor. Then something
"shocking" happened, when I was coming out of the toilet. Saw a unconscious girl lying on the
floor with a guy beside her and I immediately walked over trying to lend a helping hand.(Mai
siao siao, I learn first aid before hor) But NABEI.... the guy just wave me away!!! Chey!!! Really
"Hao Xin Mei Hao Pao" Pui! But beside that incident, overall had an enjoyable time lah. Actually
thought of going to fisherman village to "relax"(Lame excuse) after that, but in the end never
go liao because most of the guys still have to work tomorrow.
Think I'm dying from the lack of sleep.... and I don't know why I can still survive till
now! Can you guys imagine? Having just less than 7 hours of sleep for the past 2 days! I also
don't understand what I'm doing lor.... maybe I siao liao ba~ And when I was about to doze off
this morning, Grace called.... and asked me to get myself ready in 20mins coz she and Alex
coming over to fetch me to go for Bak Kut Teh. Very steam lor... when we reached the market.
Meet Rongyao and Weiwei there also.... coaz~ What is this??? Having white RICE early in the
morning for breakfast when I'm still half awake.... really lost all my appetite lor~
Hehehee.... really love sweetie more and more as the days goes by.... so guai today
coz she actually thought of going Chinablack to celebrate her friend birthday but end up never
go because she scare I will get angry. Actually It's for her own good lor.... coz yesterday drank
so much at MU liao.... kanna hangover also, some more still want to drink today. So I told her to
stay at home to rest and wait for my call when I reach home. God know what get into her? And
she really guai guai stay at home and wait for my call lor! Actually deep down in my heart.... I'm
feeling very happy & surprised lor. But hor, cannot too obvious lah.... If not, next time she don't
listen to me liao, how? ;p Okay... that's all for now, before she gets BIG HEADED if I said more
good things about her!!! Hahahaaa....
~When One Door Is Shut..... The Other Will Be Open For You~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:31 AM
Friday, March 25, 2005
Yawnz...... just woke up~ Feeling so tired today.... sleep at 7 plus this morning and
woke up 2 hours later..... coz Sweetie wanted me to start looking for a job, but hahahhaa..... we
end up chatting for the whole day... and I still went for swimming in the evening! Think I'm
really push my endurance to the limit... finally cannot tahan liao and I knock out after dinner.
Sighs... received an SMS from Sweetie just now.... and told me that she's abit drunk liao... can't
stand that "xiao fan shu", always can't seems to take care of herself~ So here I am typing away
while waiting for her to reach safely and call me....
Today never hear Grace & Co mention about MU, so just act blurr lor.... hahahaha....
let see what's the program for tomorrow, hmmm..... meeting Alex tomorrow morning to
have Bak Kut Teh. That guy damn kiasu lor... he said, nowadays I'm so busy that he had to
make advance booking first, in order to have just a meal with ME! Hahahaa.... I'm so busy meh?
How come I don't think so? And I think tomorrow won't be going to Zouk also(Those who want
the free admission tickets for two can message me, k?) coz Weiwei called and said that she had
already made a reservation for all of us to have buffet dinner at a japanese restaurant!!!
Yummy~ And the best part is.... I DON'T NEED TO PAY A SINGLE CENTS LOR!!! Hahaha.....
believe that? She said it is to compensate me for not turning up for my birthday. Aiyah... paiseh
leh.... ;p I'm a very understanding person lah, how can I bear to let a pregant AUNTY suffocate
inside a pub, just because it's my birthday, rite? Hahahahaa....
Phew~ Finally I'm going out tomorrow to have some fresh air.... If not, I will suffer
from infantile autism soon, hahahaaa.... If I keep staying at home. Actually planning to go town
to meet someone this evening... but in the end, because of some "stupib idiot", then I never go
liao...sian1/2 lor~ Sighs..... It's been 1 week liao leh, still waiting for Ken wife to call me and let
me sign some document~ Nabei.... think I'm gonna suffer a "loss" lor, if I still don't get to sign
the papers..... okay lah... got to go~ That's all folks~ Can't wait for the Bak Kut Teh later~ ;p
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Chance upon an interesting quiz site, maybe you guys can have a try:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatagewillyoudiequiz/outcome.php~All I Ask For Is To Live A Dream....The Dream I Once Lived~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">4:22 AM
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Think have to blog earlier today.... abit tired liao~ Coz went jogging for the past 3 days
and still sleep very late. Arrgghh.... never go swimming for a few days liao, everyday so cloudy.
How to tann??? Sighs... think I got mood swing leh~ One moment feeling very happy but the
other moment suddendly feels that I'm leading my life so aimlessly now.... I had lost all my
fighting spirit when it comes to work, ever since that stupib company winded up.... put in so
much effort into it and things still turn out this way. Nabei... this afternoon "sweety" brain-wash me some more..... think I'm not sad enough meh? But at least got knock some sense into me
lah... remember what you promise me tomorrow morning hor? Hahahaaa....
Am waiting for "Sweety" call now, coz she said wanna call me in a while.... but till now
still haven call. Don't know what the hell is she doing.... hahahhahaaa... been staying at home for
the past 3 days liao. Soooo soooo sianz.... think must go out soon. If not, I will go mad!!! Watched
America Idol just now. After that, chance upon an interesting website which tells you your
fortune of the year and it said me untill very good leh but how come I don't think so huh????
Sighs.... maybe "time not right" yet lor.....
........................................................................................................................................................................
Walau........ can you imagine that??? I started to typed the above mentioned at 11plus!!!
It's been a few hours liao... but I'm still here typing????!!!! Also forget what I want to type
liao..... Alrite, maybe you guys will ask me.... why don't I just type and chat at the same time?
But the problem is..... I can't multi-task!!!! Coaz~ So here I am desperately trying to finish
up the rest and go to sleep. If not, my hp & house phone gonna ring non-stop!!!! Hahahahaa....
Anyway, was happily lying on my bed and chatting away with "Sweety" just now, and
she told me that tomorrow MU are cancelled!!! Hehehee.... don't know the reason why also....
coz she kept making me laugh and I forgot to ask her liao.... so that means maybe Friday night
can continue with my ZOUK??? ;p
Ok lah..... very tired liao.... my mind can't think of anything to write also. Got to sleep
now~ Guess that "Siao fan shu" are also sleeping like a pig now~ Hope she can wake up
tomorrow~ NitezzzZ.... Everybody!!!
~A Sad Thing About Life Is That When You Meet Someone Who Means A Lot To You Only To Find Out In The End That It Was Never Bound To Be And You Just Have To Let Go~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">4:52 AM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Hmmm...... suddendly feeling quite happy with my life so far~ (apart from still been
jobless lah) Still no luck with my interviews leh.... thought those who are born in the year of
horse, this year will have a very good year??? But how come I don't think so? Anyway, got a
birthday "present" from "Miss I" when she's at my house last night, thanks alot "Deer"! Love it
very much! Hehehee... Actually hope she can take leave and accompany me for the whole day,
but she's too busy leh... and had to reached office at 9 plus in the morning. So send her took a
cab and went back to sleep..... then woke up in the afternoon, went down stairs and buy lunch...
sighs... it's so boring been jobless~ I'm still waiting for the PSA job that I had appiled.... and they
asked me to wait for two weeks, "not again....???"
Received my birthday celebration pictures from Eunice just now.... and "someone" comment that I look like a cooked lobster huh???!! Hahahahaa..... for your infomation hor, It's
not because of the drinks that I had on that day.... It's because of the trip to Siloso Beach last
week, okay? "Peijie" got it??!! Eunice & Grace jio this thursday go "MU" with their FEMALE
colleague!!!(Saliva dropping~) And said we will play "007" again!!! Hahahaaha.... but still
thinking whether want to go anot leh.... firstly, because last year I went there once, when my
cousins came back from US to visit us, and I find that it's too young, too bengs and they play
TECHNO!!( YUCKS!!) An OLD UNCLE like me cannot take it lah, sure will kanna heart-attack!
(But got girls leh...)Sighs..... secondly, It's because I got free admission tickets to Zouk the next
day on friday leh!!! Hmmm.... If I chiong for two days, I will be very tired and broke lor..... what
should I do leh? Sighs..... have to make a decision fast..... BIG HEADACHE~
"She" unblock me and we chat on MSN for quite a while just now.... and "she" even
said we can still be friends and "she" won't block me if we can chat nicely!(Lets see whether
"she" mean it anot lor) Must be surprise why "she's" willing to chat with me for so long, rite? Hahahaa.... It's because I chance upon "something" and know about "her secret" last night. And
that is.... I finally found out who is "her" bf liao~ Sighs... sometimes I'm wondering why am I so
CLEVER for what? Isn't it good to just "act blurr" and don't know about anything better?
Actually it's no surprise for me lor.... coz she always told me things about him when we're still
together and he even sometimes "on the way" and drived "her" to school before!!!(Please
lah... I had been through all, I also used to drived, okay? Which "tactics" have I never use
before to woo a girl even when my gf are inside the car together with me huh?) Sighs..... "she"
got that bit of cleverness in "her", but sometimes.... "she's" just sooo very NAIVE~ Although
"she" used to assured me that "she" got no feelings for him during that time... I still can "sense
something" lor.... but just that I kept quiet only. See! What I "predicted" are just so true.....
(I might as well go and be a fortune-teller better) "she" used to said that I'm not concern about
"her" and I only know how to said more bad things about "her" when "she's" feeling down but
did "she" ever think, why I did that to a women that I love so much??? I did it for "her" own
good.... I'm training "her" to be much more "street-wise", to be more aware of things happening
around "her"..... but seems that my method are wronged.....
By the way, dear friends~ I'm not hurt anymore hor.... I know what past already
past.... and I WON'T ask for a second chance coz "she" belongs to someone else now. Just wanna
said out my thoughts and feelings only. No big deal, okay? Don't worry about me and I'm VERY
FINE~
~Sometimes I Really Wish That I'm Stupib And Not Be So Clever~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:56 AM
Monday, March 21, 2005
Wow....... finally I can take a rest liao~ Just reached home with "someone".... ;p
hehehee.... not having enough sleep for the past few days coz I've been celebrating my Birthday
for the last 3 DAYS with 3 difference groups of friends!!!! Hahahaha.... Siao rite??? All thanks
to a bunch of wonderful friends that I had. This morning also received calls and sms from some
friends to wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!(Nabei.... disturb me from my sleep! Hehehee... just
kidding lah ;p) Thanks alot, you guys know who you are!!!
Hmm..... like what I said in my previous posting, friday night went Zouk with "Delta
Company".... last night went Maxwell market to have dinner with Alex, Boon, "Ah Gal", Grace
and her colleague then after that we went to a KTV pub called "Party Doll" or watever... can't
really remember the name... at Tanjong Pagar. What a small world~ Coincidentally a few junior
from my secondary school were there too when we reached. After we ordered our drinks we
played a very "malu game" Suggested by..... Eunice(Am I rite?) Makes everyone look so stupib!
Remember "BANG?!"So funny, hahahahaa... after that I played a few rounds of pool but never
even win a single match lor! How come huh? I'm a very good pool player, you know? (Lame~)
or maybe I'm just plain lousy~ Hahahahaaa..... but overall we had a great time! Although it's
just a simple celebration, but I'm already very contend. At least it's better than last year, where
I spend my birthday inside a reservist camp! Hahahahaa..... THANKS Alex!!! And Grace too!!!
Actually meeting "someone" else after the party last night.... in the end never meet.
Almost spoil my mood but luckily never~ So "Ah Gal" drive me home... sighs.... finally got to
meet "her" today. (And here "she" is sleeping beside me now) Hahahaaa.... We went to watch
"Hitch" this afternoon, it's quite funny lor, you guys can go watch it if you have time. After that,
had our dinner and go walk walk for awhile, feels very "relax & peaceful"..... been quite awhile
since I had this kind of feelings liao... can't really describle it.... maybe it's because I had finally
got over "That the other her" liao.... but I will never forget what "she" said to me coz it leave a
scars inside my heart.....
(Please stop making me laugh and call other people "bastard" when you're a "bitch"
yourself! Take a look at yourself in front of the mirror, what did you see? Actually you ain't that
great! ok? You're just a small kid... stop been so naive and mark my words..... you will fall hard
on your face, someday!!!)
~Lifes Is Like A Box Of Chocolates.... You'll Never Know What You Gonna Get~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:30 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Finally!!!! Manage to get home liao.... nabei, got stuck outside my house for about
35mins!!!! Coz my brother thought I'm home liao and locked he door from inside... called him
on his hp for more than 20 over times to open the door for me but no reply~ Throw things
inside his window hoping that he can wake up but failed.... doesn't want to call my house phone
at first coz I don't want to wake up my dad. But after trying for so long.... I am left with no
choice.... but to called my house phone. Finally that PIG head brother of mine open the door for
me.....
And can you guys believe this??? I still got the strength to blog at this hour! Think
I'm a superman liao.... Hahaahaha.... went sun tanning at Sentosa Siloso Beach with Eric this
afternoon. Last time used to went there often, but ever since my car licence kanna revoked,
then I never go there liao.... the place are still so beautiful, except for a few routes that had
changed... can't really stand that "Buaya Eric"..... kept asking me to accompany him go sian
"bikini gals" with him, hahahaaa.... we stayed there till evening. After that, recommend him to
had our dinner at pasir panjang food centre. You guys must try the BBQ stingray's there, it's
one of the BEST in SINGAPORE!!!!(If not, the best) Yummy~ Then come up my house and
rest for awhile, feel so bored, then we decided to go Zouk to have an early celebration for my
BIRTHDAY!!! So accompany him go to his house and change and called Edwin to meet us there.
Nabei.... while I'm waiting for Eric to change at his house, his stupib dog jump on me and bite
my thumb! Then I bo bian.... kick that mad dog once! Natural reaction~ (I really love dogs but
don't blame me, coz it's really a MAD DOG!!!!) Hahahahaaa.....
Sighs..... it's damn fucking packed at Zouk today~ Don't know why.... suddenly getting sick of going to Zouk liao.... or is it because we're just feeling too tired from the Sentosa
trip? Saw Annie( Real sister of "Ah Girl", previously from channel U) there.... so paiseh~
Shocked me when she suddendly tap my shoulder from behind. Long time never let her cut my
hair liao..... hehehee... AND SHE SAID I HAD SLIM DOWN LIAO!!!! So happy!!! ;p Anyway,
saw a lot of TCS artise there.... Adam Cheng, Fiona Xie(Yucks!!! Can't stand her "cuteness")
etc... Stay at Zouk till 2plus then I accompany Eric go Boat Quay to meet his "blind date", from
friendster! Hahahahaa..... so funny. About that girl, I got no comments. Normal looking lor.... we
had some drinks with her at a pub where she works. After that went for supper together after
she knock off..... so high liao when I reached home~
Thats all folks.... the sun coming out soon.... better go and sleep fast~ Of else I will
vanish into the thin air if the sun shines on me~ Hahahaaa.... Good NitezzzZ~
~The Greatest Enemy Of Darkness Is..... Love~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">6:02 AM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Yawnz.... finally finished bathing, chatted with Irene for so long.... till my ear hurts like
hell now!!! Hahahahaa..... but fun lah~ This girl really SIAO so I always call her "siao cha
bo", can really makes me laugh like mad sia~ So long never laugh until so happy liao. Thanks
"Deer"!!!! Hahahahaa.....
Went drinking with Hong & Ken again.... actually wanna go jogging this evening but last minute they book out from their reservist and called me, so cancelled my jogging plan lor.
Hehehee...(Anyway, yesterday also got jog mah ;p) Nabei..... don't know why people reservist
and I also reservist.... but WHY MY RESERVIST DAMN FUCKING SIONG ONE????!!!! AND
WHY MY GUN ARE DAMN FUCKING BIG THAN OTHERS????!!! The thought of "sandbags"
makes my hair stand! Walau... still got 10 more years to go... die liao lah~ It's been 2 months
since I finished mine for this year liao.... though can relax abit, but suay suay kanna
"mobilzation" on this july again!!! FUCK!!!! If you guys saw the "codenames" of "Triple Blade"
or "Spring Season" on TV, please call me hor.
Saw Elton just now.... seems that his condition still not getting better. Poor thing.... he
went to see many doctors including, malay tradtional massage, chinese physician, and even
went to temple to pray!!! But all also no use.... hope that he'll be fine soon...
Anyway, got to sleep liao... need to settle some "important stuff" tomorrow..... wish
me good luck~ Good Night, everyone!!!
~The Best Way To Cure Heartbreak.... Is To Find Another~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">5:12 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
What I "fear" most for this past 3 months finally arrived.... all my hopes are gone.... really
gone!!!!! I almost fainted when I heard the "news" from "her"........ Im sad, really sad.... no
words can really describle my feeling now.... we used to be sooooo close but now? Sighs.... "she"
really don't give a damn about anything between us.... forget it.... no matter how hard I tried,
she also won't care now.... I always been a fighter & won't give up easily.... but this time round,
I'm really tired liao... really..... since "she" can totally forget about everything..... there's also
nothing much I can said.....
"She" belongs to someone else now.... although I'm so damn sad..... but go ahead, my
dear.... If you're mine, you will come back to me again.... there's no point forcing... but forget it
lah... I'm really very exhausted.... It's really been one of the lowest point in my life...
Just before I let you go & from the bottom of my heart........ I just hope that we can still be
friend.... and "he" will treat you much more better than I do.... I really do hope so. If not, I'm
gonna break his leg!!!! I hope that you will find the happiness that you long for.... please take
good care, my dear.... I REALLY MISS YOU ALOT~
~Bye, My Dear....Hope You Stay Happy Always~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:20 AM
Monday, March 14, 2005
Never blog for a few days liao.... all because of a "stupib, spoilbrat & unreasonable
BITCH"!!! Who asked me to trusted her so much? She actually took my password and deleted
my blog away! Luckily I got save my template in my pc.... if not, everything will be gone. But I
still have to change a new blog address.... F***!!!
Saturday night got a surprise.... got a girl actually sleeping beside me!!! It been "so
long" since a girl last sleep beside me liao. But it's my little cousin lah... hahahahaa.... I know im
lame~ But she also a girl what??? Just that she's a little girl~ Heheheee... It's her school
holidays and she came over to stay and insist on sleeping with me but poor me.... I can't really
sleep for the whole night lor.... coz whenever i'm about to doze off she will suddenly kick my
butt or elbow me in her sleep! In the end, due to the lack of "peacefulness" for my sleep.... I wake up so early that day to have my breakfast on my own~ Sighs....maybe small kids are like
that lah~
Seems that Singapore Turf Club really decided not to employ me liao.... sighs..... it's
exactly 1 week le, but still no phone call from them.... can forget it.... yesterday, went drinking
with all my brothers!(Full Strength leh) Wow.... really been some times that we gathered
together! So happy to see them again! Brings back memories of our wildful days... Hahahahaa....
drink until very very high but at least last night I never vomit :p Then chatted with Irene for a
while when I reached home.... (I also can't remember what I said to her, hopefully I never talk
rubbish, hahahaaaa....)
This few days been trying to solve "her" problems.... but I failed.... sighs.... but I will
still try my best. Hope "she" don't blame me and "she's" still doing fine... even though i'm
outside with my friends sometimes..... but I still think about "her"..... really miss "her" alot alot
alot.....
~Love Is Like Staying On A Wet Cement.... The Longer You Stay.... The Harder Is To Leave.... And You Can Never Leave Without Leaving Your Marks Behind~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">8:12 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Arrggghhhhh........ never receive any call from Singapore Turf Club today!!! All my dreams
are dashed now.... I'm a "Dead Duck"!!!(My "Ti Gong" really ignore my prayer) What am I
suppose to do now? I really don't know leh... makes me regretted my decision to turn down Ah
Kiong offer... think have to start planning all over again liao... sighs... so disappointed*
Very tired.... fall asleep after my dinner just now. Actually Rongyao asked me to go for
dinner today but I decline because of going to jog....(Think the sun gonna rise from the north!!!) My stamina also improve alot liao.... coz the distant getting longer and longer.( So proud of
myself) Hopefully all my hard work would not go down the drain and I would not give up half-
way.
Been thinking very hard of a solution to "solve her problem"(When I also need people to
help me) by this weekend..... should I go back to my "old ways"??? I'm still undecide yet....
really in a fix now..... actually I got an "idea"... but all my friends said that I'm mad~ So many
question marks on my mind now.... really wanted to helped and don't want to see "her" suffer
because of my problems, but what can I really do when I can't even look after myself now???
Some of my "friends" even asked me to ignore "her"..... asking why should I care, when "she"
don't even give a damn about me??? I never give them any reply and just smiled.... but deep in
my heart, I know the reasons.....
.....It's because I OWN "HER" alot, "she's" a very NICE GIRL & I really LOVE "HER"~
~True Love Is Like A Ghost.... Many Have Thought About It.... But There's Only A Few Who Have Really Seen It~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">4:49 PM
Friday, March 11, 2005
Just reached home.... went dinner and drinking with Ken and Hong just now. Saw
some posting on "her" blog when I switch on my pc and I sms "her" straight away.... its been
hard on "her", really....... In order to helped me when we're together, she sacrificed alot.... and I
REALLY feels very guilty to see "her" in this state.(And after we broke off, I told myself that don't ever let me know or hear anyone making "her" sad again..if not, im gonna break their
legs!!!) It's all because of me.... sighs.... I'm so SHOCKED & HAPPY, when I saw "her" appeared online on my MSN just now!!!!! It been sooooooo long since I last saw "her" online liao!!! I
thought "she" finally forgive me liao and willing to chat with me again. But.... sighs.... "she" just
online for about 15secs and block me again... very sad... REAL SAD~
Anyway..... so surprised to received a message from a very long time "friend" today.
How times pass.... it's been more than 12 years ago.... although she's busy flying all over the
world and we seldom met, only keep in contact through email now.... she still remember to wish
me happy birthday! So touched.... (Though still got 9 more days lah) Hahahahaa....
Today went swimming again.... but don't seems to get any darker leh.... maybe it's
because of the sun lah... so cloudy, how to tan??? Tomorrow is friday liao... but still no news
from Singapore Turf Club!!!! Don't tell me that I'm not selected??? I'm really a "Dead Duck" if
I still never receive any calls from them tomorrow lor.... coz I rejected too many job offer just to
wait for their second call liao..... sighs...... got to sleep lah... Tata~
("Dear Ti Gong" please pray that I will receive a call from Singapore Turf Club when I wake up
tomorrow)
~We Came To This World Not By Finding Someone Perfect To Love.... But To Learn How To Love An Imperfect Person Perfectly~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:42 AM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Just woke up not long ago.... never blog yesterday coz drunk liao(again~) Went to
Singapore Turf Club for interview yesterday and they said they will give me a call by this week,
if i'm selected.(Prayin hard~) After interview, I went swimming at Jurong East Swimming
Complex which is very near my house. Finally got to go swimming liao and get myself a good
tanned......... coz it been raining recently and very cloudy. Think my stamina improve liao.....
I can swim more than 10 laps now, ok??!!! Compare to the 1 lap when I first started, Hahahaa....
Guess what? After that I went to jog too!!!! Wow~ Scary, rite? Don't know why also... maybe
got "form" lor and now my whole body ACHED like hell!!! Actually been trying to
quit smoking("she" hate me smoke) coz the price are getting more and more ridiculous!!!! What is this, a
packet of cirgrettes cost $11 bucks???!!! Might as well ask a certain "Mr H. L. Lee" go and rob!!!
But really.....
quit smoking is not a simple task~
Last night had drinking session with ken, his wife & hong again.... don't know what got
into me recently, seems to get drunk easily..... (At least I don't do "stupib things" when I'm
drunk now) By the time I got home it's 1.30 a.m, can consider it's very for me early liao and I
straight away went to bathe and sleep le.... and it's a "new record" that I slept soooo early,
maybe it's due to the tedious exercise that I had earlier...... If not, the pigs will know how to
climb the trees lor...... If I sleep earlier than 2 a.m!!!!
Would like to thank a few friends here.... for their "support"; Candy- Though I made
you angry just now(Did I really???) regarding the "pics" that you send me. STill, thanks for
your "advice" to me yesterday..... but it's always easier said than done. Just hope that time will
prove everything. Joanathan- Wah..... What can I said about this Bro of mine???? He actually go
all the way to introduce his ex gf sister to me and gave that girl my no. and asked her to call
me!!!! Bro!!! you want to scare me to DEATH ah.... and lastly, Eric- this Bro know me the best,
had been accompany me all this while, when i'm feeling down.... be it at Zouk or anywhere.
Everyday kept calling me a few times to see whether I'm alrite anot....(Guys....THANK YOU all
for all your help.... I do appreciate it)
~Walking Away Isn't The Hardest Part..... It's knowing You Won't Come Running After Me, That Hurt The Most~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">7:56 AM
Monday, March 07, 2005
Went orchard today with Eric.... and got some clothes. What can I said about this Bro
of mine.... he must have sense that I've been feeling very down lately and thats why nowadays
he keep accompany me. I really do appreciate that.... but sometimes, I rather be alone.....
Anyway, been quite awhile since I last go orchard. Everywhere I went, memories of
"her" constantly surface on my mind.... whether its Far East, Taka, Tangs, Wisma, Sasa
or Hereen.... you name it~ Really miss those moments..... that we shared~
Very shocked when Eric told me that he called "her" yesterday!!! (Actually gave him "her" no. when "we're" still together... coz in case I got into any "trouble" *pui*, he can help me
call "her".....) And he only told me that after he put down the phone with her"!!!! Till now
"she's" still very angry with me.... sighs.... don't really know when "she" will forgive me..... I
knew I had done "some stupib things" that makes "her" even hate me after we broke off.... but
what done had already been done... what can I do???!!!! All I can said is 999999999...... times of
SORRY!!!!! But does it mean anything to "her"? I really don't know~ "She" said, "she" will call
me in about two weeks time.... really hope that she will keep "her" promise.... coz I miss "her"
very badly.........
Sighs........ tomorrow morning still have to go Singapore Turf Club for interview.....
though it's a job which I may have to sacrifice my weekends but I still hope can get it. Actually,
been trying to find a stable job and give "her" a
good life, ever since "that stupib company"
winded up. But no chance now..... Speaking of this company..... I have been thinking, the main
reason that "we" broke up was because of this stupib company! In the first place, if this
company doesn't have any problems during that time.... I would not have neglect "her" at all!!!
And I think even till now, we will STILL be so very happily together!!! Sighs.....
Don't really know "you" will see my blog anot..... but I still have this to said to you:
"Girl", maybe "you" tried not to think about me, keep yourself occupied from
your work, be with all your friends and are enjoying now. But I will NEVER forget how "YOU"
HELPED and STAND BY ME through those difficult periods...... "you've" always be there for
me through good and bad times.... been giving me your everlasting love..... I never thought of
hurting you all along(that's why I had "hurted" myself so badly now) and I once promise myself
that I won't let anyone bullies "you" and ever make "you" cry coz it hurts me whenever I saw
"you" cried.... I really hope that "you" will give me a second chance to return my love back to
YOU~ Back to the times we use to be~
~You Are My Sunshine.... My Only Sunshine~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:56 AM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Just back from home... went drinking with my brother just now........ actually should
go Zouk today with Eric's & gang.... but I never go coz I sms "her" yesterday night and today
afternoon... telling "her" that I'll be calling "her" today..... Thought that after so long.... we can
have a proper chat but sighs..... when I called "her", "she" answered the call(I'm shaking and
don't know what to said!!!) BUT "she" won't even talk to me and hang up after 5 secs!!!! I'm
feeling so miserable now.......... Don't really know what should I do.... friends out there!!!! Can
teach me what should I do???? I already did my best..... but........ sighs....... saw "her" posting
last night, and It's makes me even more miserable!!!! All the things "she" wrote are just
soooooo TRUE!!!!(Feeling soooooo.... remorseful!!!)
"Girl".... I had already done my BEST to win "you" back..... what more do you want from
me...???? I'm really hurt by those posting that you had wrote on your blog........ I'm really
exhausted..... can't really describle those feelings.... please stop toturing me, will you? I just
wanna have some words with you.... and If you ever think that my "words" are unreasonable...
Then we will call it quits..... and I won't ever call you again....
I don't ask for much.... just want you to hear my part of explanation~ That's all I can ask
from you......
~Love Hurts........... It really hurts~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">5:46 AM
Friday, March 04, 2005
Sighs...... feeling very sick now. *sniff* *sniff* Think I had catch a cold and having slightfever now..... I'm sneezing away while I'm typing these..... doing nothing for the whole day, justrot at home.... today also never go for the "second interview", decided to give it a miss at thelast moment, when I woke up this morning. (There goes my oversea job and my "ang moh" gf.....) Anyway, going toSingapore Turf Club for interview on next monday..... hopefully can get the job coz somehow Igot a weird feeling that I will stay at this job for a long long time.... If I'm selected lah.... If..... ormaybe it's because I'm born in the year of horse and I also like horse alot....Hahahaha..... lame~Don't what I'm talking about also..... maybe the flu bug are slowly getting up to my brain liao....Suddendly got an urge to give "her" a call..... been wondering how is "she" getting on....still miss "her" alot after all these while.... miss "her" voice too.... but so what If I call??? I bet"she" won't even pick up my call.... let alone chat with me! Sighs..... does every couplesreally need to break off all ties with each others when they broke off and cannot be friendsanymore? Why can't they chat, like ever before? I really hope to know the answer.... Doesanyone know? okay lah.... got to go sleep liao... Feeling very sick now... Hope to dream of "her"tonight.... Tata~
~We Are Like A Jigsaw Puzzle..... Missing A Piece..... And Without That Piece..... We Can Never Be Put Back Together As One~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:13 AM
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Yawnz~ Feeling abit tired..... went for interview yesterday but still don't know whether
can get it anot. Anyway, going for second interview tomorrow. Don't know still want to go anot
leh, coz I find that the company ways of doing their
business abit "fishy", sighs..... really don't
know how to explain it lah... (Think my hope of going for oversea assignment are gone) Today
at least not bad, received a lot of calls to ask me go for interview. One of the calls is from
Singapore Turf Club, actually I email my resume about 2 weeks ago.... thought they had
already forgotten about me, but??? Hehehee.... hopefully I can fix an appointment with them
and go for my interview by this week!!!! ;p
Not been sleeping well for the past few day. Don't know why also.... Sighs.... been
raining non-stop for the past few days, can't go for my tanning leh. Arggghh........ hopefully
tomorrow is a SUNNY DAY!!!!
(To "SOME MOTHER FUCKER", you know who you are. Hope you read this!!!! Don't
send me files that contain virus again!!!! I WILL REALLY BASH YOU UP, If you don't heed
my warning!!!! PLS don't take my kindess for granted)
~Trying To Forget Someone You Love Is Like Trying To Remember Someone You Never Met~
[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:48 PM