Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Recently so much things had happened to me and was feeling quite down for the past few days. Think I'm going to suffering from love-sickness soon. Sighs..... not going to said more about it. Maybe those close friends of mine will know what I mean. Got myself a job recently, which pay quite well but sucks BIG TIME!!! Have to endure for awhile cause' I'm doing my "Da Ge" a favour by helping him out and thought of buying some clothes after getting my pay....... but guess all those money will goes to paying all my BILLS!!!! Walau.... the sight of it makes me wanna go CRAZY!!!!

Met Forest last night to have dinner.(Hehehee.... you scare?;p) and we went to Nooch at Paragon and I had Beef noodle soup. Hmmm.... yummy~ After that we went my friend pub at Boat Quay. Walau..... that stupib girl drank so little, whereas I drank like a mad man trying to drown his sorrow. What is this? 2 jugs of "extra volka" 7-up and 2 glasses of "super thick long island tea" is all I need to knock myself out. I end up vomitted and lying on the floor of my void-deck after sending her home..... luckily I'm still sober enough to call my brother and asked him to come down and carry me home...... if not, I think it's either those aunties going for morning exercise or road sweeper will have drag me home instead of my brother!!!! Woke up this afternoon and found alot of bruises on my body.... think it's the outcome of not been able to walk properly! Even till now, I'm still suffering from the hangover while typing this! But overall very FUN!!! Cause' drinking can makes me forget all about my problems! Hey, Horny!!!! Don't forget about "Devil's!" "Devil's!" "Devil's!"Hahahahaa.....

Was browsing through friendster this afternoon..... and I suddendly chance upon a girl..... a girl who will always hold a special place in my heart and had never really been replaced..... she was my ex-girlfriend and we used to be together for about 6years plus. She's the one who really show me what love truely means..... but due to my immaturity and wildful life, we broke off in year 2002. We only met once after all these years, and that was afew years back during a friend birthday party. After that night, we never seen each other ever again...... years passed.... all the hatred and love I had for her are gone. When I looked at her friendster pictures now, only memories stayed on..... Even till now, all my nuts friends will called me whenever they saw her! And I don't understand why also???!! Maybe they still think that I haven move on or whatsoever. Hahahaa.... been wondering, what will become to us had we stay on, in this relationship. Think we would have get married and have children now. Hahahaha...... and yeah, married she did! But not to me! Anyway, heard from my friends that she's married to a certain "friend" of mine and they also had a beautiful daughter now. Just wanna wish her all the best in whatever she do......

Saw a quote online and I find it quite true to a "certain extend", so I decided to post it up......
........................................................................................................................................................................
"Happily ever after" only happens in fairy tales. In reality, sad to said....... it's always a sad ending. No matter how happy a relationship could be...... that's only the process. The ending will always be sad. It's either a breakoff or one party leaving. Leaving as in death.....


~There Are Nothing Permanent Except Change...... Are You As Happy As What You Want Today?~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">8:59 PM
Thursday, May 26, 2005

Won't be writting much today.... cause' just argued with my buddy Edwin on MSN..... and it concern about his cousin(My GF) again. It's giving me tons of headache. Sighs...... I'm really sick and tired of all this "shits". Aiyah..... don't said anymore, finally received some pictures taken during my cousin's wedding from little girl, Peijie!!! But it's very badly taken..... so you guys endure hor?

Pardon me for been not serious......(Blurr pic)


My little cousin, Peijie & Me.....(What happened to my lips???)


My little cousin, Celeste & Me.....(Ohh....my lips still intact)


Another little cousin of mine, Slyvia...... This 3 girls been bugging me to have pics taken with them!!!(Why am I so popular huh???)


3 Little pigs & A Big BAD WOLF!!!


Arggghhhhh........... can't get these girls off my back!!!(Blurr pic again)


Can't stand them.........


Very impressive "Star".......


My 2 beautiful aunty.....(Mai siao siao.....they are also chiongster hor?!) Hahahaaa....


And lastly........ ~My Plain Jan~



That's all folks...... actually still got alot more pictures..... but the bride haven pass it to me. I'll try to upload it as soon as I receive from her.
......................................................................................................................................................................... ~To some "Fruitcake"~

(I'm still hanging on cause' I had made a "promise" to you(Asshole)....... and up till now I still hope to keep this "promise"..... but don't blame me if I can't..... cause' I don't think I can take it any longer! One day you will understand how I felt...... when I decide to break this promise)


~Ne Me Blamez Pas Si Je Transforme En Batard Malveillant~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">11:28 PM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Wow...... yesterday went to Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel for my cousin wedding dinner. Can tell you guys, the food there is quite nice lor.... and the service they provided was excellent too! But too bad, I drank more than I ate...... cause' my uncle kept asking me to accompany him drink.... in the end, drink until so high! Think the most red wine I drank in my life at one go is one and half bottles, but this time round I had so much more than that! Quite scary..... but overall was fun lah. After the dinner, went to Velvet Underground together with my brother, his wife and some cousins..... and it was kind of bored cause' all of them just sat down there and look around. Actually Eric and my buddy Edwin was at Zouk, and I wanna go over but how can I just leave all my cousins there, rite? So only get to go over when all of them had left. At least I had so much fun at Zouk. Hahahhaaa..... met Mavis for the 1st time there, so paiseh.... actually knew this nice and friendly girl through Eric. We often chat on MSN only and I never seen her before until last night! In the end, we left for supper at around 3plus...... so tired man!

Just finished chatting with "her"....... actually was quite relieved when she assured me that everything is fine cause' we never meet each other for quite awhile liao..... and we really had a good talk about it. She said, she can sense I'm quite upset about everything that had happened...
and she's very sorry. But I don't blame her lah...... cause' this is the choice that I've made. Just hope that everything will be settle soon.....

Alrite..... that's all for now. Recently been going to the hospital and drinking alot. Need to rest now. Hopefully can upload some pictures from the wedding dinner when I receive it! Someone told me before that the best way to cure hangover is to drink more...... it's BULLSHIT!!!!!


~The Only Thing That Is Constant In Life Is Change.... So Always Be Prepared For Changes And To Change~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">4:43 AM
Sunday, May 22, 2005

What am I doing here??? It's 5.51 am now, and I'm still here blogging away! Hahahaaa....actually been waiting for my best friend Rongyao good new, cause his wife went into labour today! He just called me and his wife Weiwei had just given birth to a healthy baby boy!!! Can hear that he's very excited. Felt so happy for them! Nabei.... received a "false alarm" this afternoon by sms from him and said that he was rushing to hospital soon, so I quickly hailed a cab and rushed down to Mount Alvernia in a SUPER HEAVY RAIN!!! But when I reached there..... saw him at the hospital reception about to register ONLY! Nabei.... made me rushed down for nothing...... in the end, meet Mark for dinner. And speaking of cab..... earlier I almost quarrel with that stupib taxi-driver while on the way to the hospital!!!!

Me: Uncle, Mount "A"....
Uncle: ok....
Me: Remember, not Mount "E" hor?
Uncle: Okok.....
Me: Uncle, can faster? I'm in a hurry. Urgent....
Uncle: Sorry, I can't cause' raining heavily. Very dangerous....

By this time, I'm already fed up with the taxi-driver! Cause' he's driving at only 60-70km/hr on PIE! And every car is overtaking him and giving him a stare before they past by. The final straw came when he suddendly exit by Steven Rd!!! Then I asked......

Me: (Calm tone)Uncle, why you exit by Steven Rd? I'm going to Mount "A" leh.... ain't exit by
Thomson Rd the actual way?
Uncle: Huh??? Why don't you said properly? I thought you wanna go Mount "E"?
Me:(Pissed but Calm tone) I thought I told you earlier???!!

Can't stand it, the stupib uncle still wanna agrue with me along the way.... but I just asked him to shut up and drive on. Walau..... come to think of that, the uncle should be glad that I had already
changed.(My temper) If not, I think I'll curse and swear till he forget what his parent names are!!!!


~I Got Two Life..... One Is For Myself...... And The Other Is For My Dream~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">5:51 AM
Saturday, May 21, 2005

Sighs.... sianz man~ Never meet my GF today..... can't imagine that I get to meet her only ONCE for this week!!!! Guess that I have to wait till next week then can see her liao......

Instead went to meet Priscilla for lunch today. Think I have not seen this girl for quite some time liao, cause' she's always so busy and her job need her fly around often. Hehehee...... think gonna ask her introduce me a few stewardess soon! ;p We only used to contact each other through sms or email. So was quite surprised to see her on MSN this morning. Feeling hungry after chatting for awhile, and we decided to meet up for lunch. After that, accompany her go IMM buy groccery and help her carry so many stuffs!!!! Nabei.... don't know when did I become her maid huh??!! Hahahahaa..... actually don't mind lah cause' guys need to be gentlemen mah and she promised to get me something when she's back from Japan on monday!!!! ;p Well...... at least she still appreciated what I did for her, and treated me to have coffee at don't know what cafe!(Wonder where the Starbucks gone to???)

Was chatting with Mark and my buddies earlier on MSN...... and I'm sad to said, we're all in the same boat. All of us are troubled....... how come things always don't turn out what we want it to be? We seems to step on "SHIT" with everysteps that we made..... and those feeling SUCKS!!!! And suddenly thought of what my "Honey" had told me, and would like to shared these advice with you guys here..... "There's no right or wrong in love, just that we got to let our head to rule our heart, and not the other way round. Maybe by doing this, we won't get hurt that easily." But hor!!! I told her that, I'm those type who think the other way round leh..... how huh??? Then she reply, "Maybe that's why you're the one who always get hurt!!!" Nabei..... how true...... :(

Suppose to meet that Stupib Mark to la kopi..... but look at what time izzit now? Guess that idiot too engross with his stupib game liao...... fucker, put me areoplane!!! _l_


~I Do Believe That Soulmates Do Exist..... That There Is Truely Someone Made For You..... But It's Up To You To Make The Choice If You Are Going To Do Something About It Anot~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">1:39 AM
Friday, May 20, 2005

Don't know why.... and I just click onto "her" blog address.(The girl whom I created this blog for) Was reading through the past posting on "her" blog. I was smiling as I read her past entries ...... and with abit of sadness too~ Sighs.... what can I said? With that relaxing background music playing, it brings back all those bad and good times that we used to shared together..... the things she had done for me..... reminds me of every single things. She was very young, much more younger then me but mature~ Still clearly remember her shy & innocent look.... the meeting at City Hall.... the Mos Burger restaurant at MS and my office at Yishun.(Thinking back..... it's been hard on her.) Don't think I will ever forget all this things that had happened, cause' of that stupib company. Hahahaa.... supposed every good things must come to an ending.... but too bad, this ending is not a beautiful one~ Anyway, heard that she's going to complete her studies soon and are happily together with a new BF now. Would really liked to thank her for accompany me walking through one of the darkest period in my 27th years on this planet~

~Thank You Very Much~
.........................................................................................................................................................................

Was supposed to meet my GF today and we haven meet for so many days~ But in the end, never get to meet up cause' she's sick. I'm abit pissed off at first, cause' I was already preparing myself half way to go for dinner together when she suddendly sms me and said she doesn't want to meet liao and wanna stay at home and rest. I nearly blew my top!!! Luckily I managed cool down..... if not, think World War 3 gonna start!!!! I feels that recently we are drifting apart...... since she got this new job..... we're not meeting or toking as often as we used to be. She can be so concentrate on her new job that she can totally forget all about me!!! Sighs..... think this is the 1st time I got a GF who is so focus on her job.(Or should I said, Career-Minded?) Blame who??!Who asked me to fall in love with this cousin of my buddy???!! Well...... I guess I'll just have to "任 命" and endure all this shit..... and hopefully can get to see her tomorrow cause' this weekend she will be gone for afew days again.... sighs..... don't know when this thing gonna stop. Ti Gong!!!!! Where are you???!!!!


~Are You For Real..... Or Everything Just An Illusion~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:10 AM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005

~Bizarre Love Triangle~

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue.
It's no problem with mind, but it's a problem I find.
Living a life that I can't leave behind.
There's no sense in telling me.
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free.
But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows.
And every day my confusion grows.

Every time I see you falling.
I get down on my knees and pray.
I'm waiting for that final moment you say the words that I can't say.
I feel fine and I feel good.
I feel like I never should.
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say.
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday.
I'm not sure what this could mean.
I don't think you're what you seem.
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else.
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be.

Every time I see you falling I'll
Get down on my knees and pray.
I'm waiting for the final moment you'll say the words that I can't say.


~Happiness Is Not Just To Love But To Be Loved Too~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">12:30 PM
Sunday, May 15, 2005

Just back home not long ago..... went Geylang with Rongyao, his wife and some friends to have frog leg porridge for our dinner just now.... so full man~ Then after we finished eating, Alex and Grace came along. So funny..... Alex just had his heart operation, and can't talk loudly. What happened to the "Loud Speaker" huh??? Hahahahaa..... really not use to him talking so softly lor~ Then after the rest of the guys went off..... me, Rongyao & Weiwei accompany Alex & Grace to have Teochew porridge at another street. Sick man lah... what to do? Have to eat light stuff lor~ ;p Nabei..... had our 2nd round when we reached there!!! That stupib Alex order a special "fish dish" for us to try. Almost vomit out all the frog legs & beer which we took earlier. Wah..... in the end, we stay there and talk cock till 12plus~

Went for a few interviews this week. Actually gonna sign confirmation letter for a "Land Banking" job this afternoon.... but in the end, back out cause' I find that the company is not "stable & reliable" think it just started about 6mths ago only..... and most importantly, this job got no basic pay!!!! How am I gonna survive without any basics if I don't have sales??? Siao!!!! Actually I'm hoping get a reply from a "certain company" soon cause' if I still don't get a reply from them by next wedensday, that means it's gone.....

Sighs..... I've been putting up a smily face for the whole day when actually I'm not happy at all!!!
Actually for the whole day, I was waiting for "her" call..... but it didn't happened and "she" really disappointed me lor. In the end, just received a sms from "her" telling me that "she" miss me~
Hahaahaha..... is this a joke or what???!! Is that all she want to said to me for the whole day??? What I want is a GF who can provide me with the love & care that I long for.... and not a girl whom I have to keep telling her what she should do to make me happy. Is that too much to ask for? Sighs...... I really don't know. I have high hope for this relationship, and even "her" cousin who is my buddy also starts "supporting" me now. I really hope things will turn out fine. Like what "she" said to my buddy, I'm starting to get paranoid nowadays cause' "she" can't always accompany me. Maybe she's right.... maybe it's just emotions taking over me.... too caught up in the sorrow and making me lost in the process...... or it's just maybe....? I really don't know what's wrong with me~ Sighs...... I've got my pride, I will not cry but it's making me weak........




~Why Do I Still Choose To Love Her When I Know Love Will Hurt So Much~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">3:33 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Sighs.... she will not be around for afew days again.... I always HATE THIS DAY!!!! I HATE IT!
Anyway, tomorrow will be going for 3 interviews within 4 hours.... stress man. Don't know can make it on time anot.... suddendly got so many interviews to attend. Hopefully can get at least one.

Sighs..... that's it guys~ Tomorrow got to wake up early for my haircut appointment and I really got no mood to blog..... Good NitezzzZ~



~Committing Mistakes Is Not What's Important Here..... What Counts Is The Act Of Righting Wrongs~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">12:59 AM
Saturday, May 07, 2005

What a tiring day.... went for a ride on Mark bike just now and we went to la kopi at a coffeeshop near NUS. So excited at first, cause' it been such a long time since I last sat on a bike liao...... some more I think his bike got abit of problem lah. Don't seems to move smoothly. This afternoon went for an interview at Tanjong Pagar. Actually it's a retail sales job at orchard, dealing with branded goods.... and I'm going for the second interview on next tuesday. Although I hate working retail hours & the basic pay seems abit low to me..... but I still hope to get this job cause' my money is running out soon! This time it's REAL!!!! Ohhh....god! What am I gonna do with so many bills that seems to keep piling up everyday????!!! Think I'm gonna be a DEAD DUCK liao!!! :(

Sighs..... beside my bills~ Actually there's some other "problems" that had been bugging me recently. It's driving me CRAZY & I'm under tremendous pressure to PERFORM!!! I'm hitting the "30 mark" soon, but due to the stupib company.... I'm left with NOTHING now! Everything gone..... have to start all over again.... I really don't know whether I can pull myself up from this shit.... everything in a mess now. Think I'm going to suffer from severe emotion breakdown soon. One moment I can be on cloud nine and the other moment I'm brought back to reality.... (Though I'm not gonna said it here) But I really wish this "thing" will settle fast.... so I'll just gonna pray hard that LUCK is on my side and the outcome will goes my way eventually~ Dear Ti Gong..... po pi~ po pi~


~Every Step I Take, Every Move I Make, Everytime I Pray, Every Single Day, I'll Be Missing You~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:28 AM
Friday, May 06, 2005

You're the sunshine of my day
Always brighten up my life
You take a piece of me with you
Whenever you say good bye
And I hate to see you go
Even when I know that you'll come back
It's hard to breath without you girl
And baby that's a fact
I know sometime you have to "leave"
But how I wish that you could stay
Every time when you go away.......



~To Love With No Regrets~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">12:53 AM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005

So bored.... she was so busy preparing some papers for her work tomorrow that she totally forget about my existence even when I'm just sitting beside her now!!!! Sian man..... I got nothing to do and was feeling abit sleepy liao.... while waiting for my soccer match to start, so come online to blog for awhile lor..... I'm beginning to agree with those people who said that "We are just living in a small planet called EARTH and no matter where we're.... we'll bum into people that we know everywhere, anytime" lor.

Sighs.... anyway, the story goes like this..... I got screwed by my buddy Edwin, "BIG TIME" last night..... we're actually chatting online half-way when he saw the pictures on my MSN and asked me, what's the girl name that was beside me in the picture. He blew his top when he heard that girl name!!!! At first I thought what's the big deal... and she turns out to be my buddy COUSIN! Believe it anot???!! My current GF is his COUSIN!!!! Walau..... what a small world... really screwed by him upside down lor~ But I don't blame him cause' I understand how he feels..... if I'm in his shoe, I will also get "angry" lor... or should I said, "Worried"? After all, we used to fool around and talk rubbish together. Hmmm...... maybe that's the reason why he's so worried about having a "Buaya" by his cousin side!!!! And you know when you watch comedies, there's always some guy who tries to explain and save himself but keeps digging deeper into his grave? Well..... suppose that's me!

Been wondering..... why is this world so full of coincidences huh???!! But how come whenever I buy 4D also never so "chun" before? Hmmm..... maybe this is what people called, FATE? Alrite, my soccer match starting soon..... but before I go, just wanna tell my buddy that... don't worry,(Although I know it's hard) but I really know what I am doing..... and I won't let you down~


~The True Measure Of Compatibility Is Not The Years That Are Spent Together.... But How Good You Are For Each Other~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">2:19 AM
Monday, May 02, 2005

Realised that I had not been blogging as often as I used to be. Hehehe.... actually I'm busy "dating" lah and was too tired to blog when I got home! :p Had an wonderful weekend.... went to watch the show "Divergence" with Janet last friday night cause' she wanted to see her idol Daniel Wu. Walau.... what so great about him huh?! How come nowsadays everyone around me seems to go gaga whenever his name is mention??! Siao! Then Mark came to my house on Saturday to helped me reformatte my PC. Yeah!!! Finally my PC are free of VIRUS!!!(Thanks FUCKER) and Janet came up my house too after she knock off~ She told me that Mark actually looks like Daniel Wu too! (Wanna Puke) Well.... I don't deny lor.... actually got abit lookalike(side-view) lah. So anyone who wants a autograph from a uglier version of "Daniel Wu" can just tag me lah! Hahahahahhaaa.... :p Hehehee.... brought Janet to meet Rongyao yesterday to have a "primary school reunion"! Can see that they're very happy when they saw each other lor...... after all they had not seen each other for so long liao.... hahahaaha... I had so much fun listening to their childhood stories!

Just send "Her" off to work this morning. Sighs.... kinda sianzzz when "She" left~ Anyway, went to meet Rongyao & Weiwei for breakfast after that and we had Dim Sum but it's sucks lor.... Yucks! Then while on the way home, that stupib Mark called and asked me accompany him go Yishun to get some stuff from his friend mum. Walau.... actually I'm very sleepy when he called and was planning to get some sleep after my breakfast lor.... but in the end still accompany him go lah.(Nabei..... he better bring me out for a ride when his bike is ready!!!!)

Well.... think I'm gonna rest liao cause' some friends said I look very tired nowadays! And also wanted get back all my sleep for the past few days. Sighs...... it's been such a long time that I sleep so early. Think the sun gonna rise from the north tomorrow!!!!! Hehehee... so excited, cause' tomorrow meeting "Her" again! Good NitezzzzZ..... Everyone!!!!!


~Giving Someone All Your Love Is Never An Assurance That They'll Love You Back~

[Lonely James] -all right reserves- ">9:33 PM